Fantasy: John Kerry gives me the call

In the Land of Fantasy i was woke up, the mans voice sounded like he had downed some ruffies but i knew who it was... it was John Kerry

"Larry, I need you to run my campaign"

Can your Humble Correspondent get the Kerry Campaign out of its death spiral?

Is the pope a bear pooping in the woods... err fergit i said that

The first think i would do is lock Kerry up over the Republican convention. this would be Boot Camp

I would teach John Kerry how to give simple answers to questions that need simple answers.

I figure he has spent to long being what he is, i would have to use some kind of aversion theraphy. Maybe Howard Dean telling him what states he'll take him to if he doesn't learn.

the Next step would be to make sure people who can TALK are out their talking about how great John Kerry is

Bill, Hill, Edwards, Edwards wife

people who at least have positive ratings to some degree would be out there selling John Kerry during this time.

I'd Send Teresa on a whirlwind trip of europe campaigning to all the heads of state who hopes John Kerry will win

especially if this campaigning keeps her off tv

Kerry would come out with Bush and try to close down the 527s... he'd stop whining about the Swift Boat Vets and instead of using DNC smear intelligence on them through the "Completely unbiased media" i'd set up a sit down with some of the members of Swift Boat vets who could reasonably flip.

I'd try and gauge an idea of what the flipping would require.

Then, after the Republican convention i'd roll out the new John Kerry to all the Usual suspects

Larry King, Barbara Walters, Oprah

I'd have Kerry admit V.V.A.W did cross the line alot of the times, and that in the folly of his youth he thought the ends justified the means.

John would talk about maturing politically and as a man in the senate, how he came to realize that the first thing a leader should be is humble. and the second thing he should be honest.

John would absolve the swift boat vets, one and all. He'd admit he "understands their perspective." and hopes they can move past this painful moment and to a better america

and after we roll out the new John that is the last time we ever talk about Vietnam, under pain of hot saucing.

after the roll out interviews the first thing John would do, the most important thing he would do, is articulate his vision for homeland security/War on terrorism.

Clinton could on areas like health care run to the left, because he presented bonifides that he wasn't a "tax and spend" liberal. for John to do anything he has to show he will keep America safe, and convince people.

not by his being in war and knowing war, but by his having the idea to protect this country "smarter."

We can talk about drug prices, health care, the enviroment, and gay stuff all after that. but unless John can pass this crucible he is done.

John will want to rely on Joe Wilson and some other clinton cronies.. but they will all be gone.

the first step to convince people is not to hire pants stuffers or people who create scandals for no reason.

John will have people who articulate a non-pc view of how to get the job done. I leave it up to John to translate it into leftie speak

then, after we show we could defend America we would go after the swing voters

people say the election is polarized, anyone saying it in my pressence would be hotsauced.

if the Deaniacs threaten to go to Nader, or not show up. I'd reply "So then your whole not voting for Nader argument was hypocracy. It only matters if a canidate you buy into is winning."

i'd have some bruno's to go through the party machine with this message.

I'd push Kerry More towards Clinton in some areas, but i'd let him be as liberal as he wanted to be in others that wouldn't scare the american people.

If John did this, and bush continued to be as defective as he is right now.... John would be ahead by 7-10 points after the republican convention.

but, this is only in the land of fantasy