Dear Batty Hooser

19.3.05
Hello America, How Are You?
Hey America. I know there’s been some friction between you and the rest of the world lately and I think that’s too bad. Given that this is the second anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, I’d like to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind.

Dear Hooser....

I think the fact your government will play nicey with folks like the Tamil tigers who are horrific terrorists is a problem. Or the fact more Nazi war criminals hid out in Canada then you let in Jews during WWII. I could run off a list of downright unpleasant things Canada has done that I and other nations in the world disagree with. I wouldn't say this causes friction because people could care less if Canada is pissed off at them.

1) How come so many of your citizens thought that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11?

To run with Bill Clinton "It depends on what your definition of DO is" I could make several logical cases for such a belief... And I could also have lines of argument that reflect flat world society people. So if you want an answer to your question you need to be more specific and don't trust polls... As polls ( which this issue came from) are entirely based on perception of the people without context

2) How come so many of your citizens know so little about other places? I’ve met a lot of Americans and only three of them knew that Ottawa was the capital of Canada, and most of them had college degrees.

I've met an equal number of Canadians who think NYC is the US capital

stupid people are everywhere... Especially in Ontario ( because god bless it to many of them come down here)

3) How come so many of your citizens know nothing about the history of US foreign and covert policy? Why aren’t they taught about American involvement in places like El Salvador, Chile, Colombia, Guatemala, Iraq, Iran, and a very long list of other places around the world?

and this is based on ........

bonus for if you know about things the government in Germany did to covertly support the PLO back when they were terrorists

its called CLANDESTINE for a reason. And clandestine matters usually have a lack of a serious papertrail... And we avoid teaching things as much as we can without clear unadulterated facts


4) How come most of your citizens supported the invasion of Iraq? Is it because they didn’t have all the facts or because they just wanted to see someone pay for 9/11 and were open to suggestions?

Or hey because Saddam was a really bad guy and he killed tons of people and he needed to go down. Or how about how he paid all manner of terrorist groups in the region

ya know plenty of good reasons to get rid of him.

oh and why do the Canadians support UN peacekeeping operations when so many of your soldiers rape and torture non combatants there?

5) After the world found out that there weren’t any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and President Bush announced that he was calling off the search for them, why didn’t your citizens demand that President Bush be impeached? After all, they tried to impeach Bill Clinton for lying about getting a blow job – and no one was even killed because of that.

because his statement wasn't made under oath -Bill Clinton's was- to be impeached you have to commit a high crime ... Lying is what we pay politicians to do when they lie in a non criminal matter

I know you have politicians who lie in the great white north

6) How come some Americans think these sorts of questions are bad?

and your basing this off of.... Oh that's right your firm knowledge of the US hey good to know you aren't ignorant of how these questions are hotly debated every day

you wouldn't be in violation of your own question no not you

7) How come your citizens don’t care that the CIA and the Department of Defense don’t have to disclose information to them, even though the Constitution says that they do?

No it doesn't say that... Thank you come again

8) You make more weapons than anyone else in the world. How come America?

because people other then Canada like to buy them

9) How come it’s legal to own an assault rifle but two men or two women can’t get married?

because assault rifle is a made up and meaningless word. Marriage is something that isn't made up and is well defined in law

10) Why do you spend more money on defense than education and healthcare?

because we have treaty obligations our military has to fufill and only so much money we can take from our citizens ( something the folks in Ottawa have no problem doing the opposite of)

Thanks for your time America.

Thanks for continuing the long Canadian cultural history of America hatred